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Local Bureaus

Mother of Three
Embarrassed
to Find
Jagged Little Pill
Doesn't Hold Up
A Shermanwood Heights teen achieved a major feat in bio-electrical engineering last week as he invented a way to power his entire home off of electricity generated by his grandparents and uncle in the basement.
Nineteen-year-old Sam Houston invented the "power pod" to deal with extended family in his house.
more

After Six Years, Fake Surgeon Amazed No One at Hospital Has Uncovered Him
"Dr. Willford Johnston" has been posing as a heart specialist for over 73 months and, frankly, he's amazed that he's gotten away with it.
JS



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I Can Hear You Ordering Prostitutes Over the Phone!

Other Headlines
This Bullet Wound Can't Be Good
Clinton Foundation Revealed to Be Front for Hydra
'Trump's Doing a Great Job' Spokesperson 'John Miller' Tells Press, World Leaders
Bring on the Hot Interns! / I'm Soooooo Sorry
Reporter, Pug, Photographer Go On Rampage
Hendersons' New Drone Clearly Watching You Have Sex

How Much Do You Think I Can Get for This Chinese Baby?

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National News

America Finds the Limits of 3D

Morning After Post Keeps Plagerizing Our Stories
Drone Levels Suburb, Military Suspends 'Take Your Daughter to Work Day'
'America's Got' Judges Unsure If They Want to See Casey Anthony's Talent
Adolecent Trying to Masterbate Through Heatwave Dies of Dehydration
Asshole Proud to Be First Streaker at Memorial
Splitscreen Interviews Make It All Debateable

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IJI Apolo- DAMMIT! DID WE MAKE FUCKING ZOMBIES?

IJI Makes HIV Virus Gigantic, Airborne
Facebook to Stream Movies, Heroin
Lonely TSA Agent Wishes Someone Would Pat Her Down
Lone Gunman's Imaginary Friend Is an Even Bigger Asshole Than He Is
I'm Not Too Drunk to Write-up This Murder-Suicide
Palin Defeats Alien Invaders?
Congress Bails Out Christmas

  QC-P
it
   

 

World News

Snoopy Balloon on Worldwide Killing Spree

Pepsico Agrees to Sponsor Syrian Conflict
Walmart Found to Be the End of ALL Civilizations
Pope- Sex with Post-Op 'Not Gay'
Bin Laden's Kirk Cameron Collection Sold on eBay
Egyptian Protesters Seize Stargate
FedEx Gets Iranian President Beheaded
Afghanistan Eager to Topple American Empire


 

  Classic Post

Fatal Accident Ends in Hilarity

Bert n Ernie Fired from Sesame Street
Bunnylike Creature Kills Five
Doubledown an Experiment in Suggestiblity
Snack Spray Killing Fatties
Bush to Send Flood Victims 'Huck Finn' Rafts
Is Flu Vaccine 'Homo-fying' Americans?
Drone Levels Chicago Suburb, Military Ends 'Take Your Daughter to Work Day'
ABS Launches Vampire-Reality Series
(and IJI Accidentally Created Vampires)
SeaWatch

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Business





VP Biden Ruins Costume Party

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Opinions



Judges Unsure If They Want to See Casey Anthony's 'Talent'
'Top Fluffer' Setting Records for Viewership, Complaints

 
  Morning Star Gazette

Scranton Strangler Loses Another Victim

We Are Not Satanists!
In Upset, Bumbling Strangler Kills More Prolific Slasher
 
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