The Premise
The cast took a bow in front of two hundred and forty eight cheering audience members. Hal walked out, shook the lead actor’s hand and kissed the lead actress’ cheek, and took another bow with them.
The crowd settled down to a murmur and trickled down the grandstand stairs and out the studio double doors.
The first season was over.
Dan could see Hal walking some attractive young girl, most likely an “actress,” through the crowd toward him.
“Here’s the real star of the show. This is Daniel Randolph. Danny, meet Vicky… um, sorry dear.”
She put out her hand graciously letting Hal off the hook. “Vicky Toliver. Pleased to meet you. What do you do on the show?”
“Well, I-
“Danny’s the head writer. He’s the reason all these people just got a two year contract.”
“Really?”
Dan started to open his mouth, but Hal continued for him.
“Yeah, this show was crap before Daniel. Rehashed priest jokes. Back then we had the spy in the witness protection program. I mean, cute, but it really didn’t go anywhere. That draft of the pilot was full of puns and weak references to what a trained assassin ‘used to do.’ That’s when Danny came to me and said, ‘Hal, don’t you see- the hitman hides himself as a priest. That way he has to keep killing to keep his secret.’ I said, ‘that’d be the darkest sitcom in primetime history. Can you keep it funny?’ He said, ‘watch me.’”
“We got lucky with the critics.”
“Oh, so modest, Danny. We’re lucky, though I shouldn’t say that. Milton Gold, my original partner in this project, didn’t like the idea. He said it was too dark. He swore that network would never take another change and the censors would never allow it. Said it would happen over his dead body. Turns out it did, God rest his soul. He died in a skiing accident in Aspen. In the end, we went forward without him.”
“What about network and the censors?” Vicky asked.
“Well, I still had quite a bit of sway with network back then, and I have even more now. And Daniel has a superb way of writing his way around the standards and practices assholes. Oh, the things you get away with. It’s horrible to say out loud, but the show’s probably better off without Milton.”
“You’re right, Hal,” Dan said, “that is a horrible thing to say out loud.”
“Well, speaking of Milton, I think I’m going to hire back Cynthia Cooper. I always liked her work and since Milty’s not around, there’s no reason not to.”
Dan beamed a subtle smile that revealed neither insincerity nor intention.
“That sounds terrific.”
“You see, Vicky, Cynthia hired Daniel before Milton fired her. I guess you could say without her, things might not have turned out the way they did. So it should be good to have her back.”
“I look forward to working with her,” Dan lied.
Hal glanced at his watch. “Well, we’d better get going. Reservations.”
“Alright. It was lovely meeting you, Vicky.”
“You too, Mr. Randolph. Do mind if I ask you a question about your writing?”
He bit his tongue and smiled to keep from rolling his eyes.
“You’re not going to ask me where I get my ideas, are you?”
“No. I’m just wondering about the basic idea. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love the show, but how long can your born-again priest get away with murder?”
Dan looked in Vicky Toliver’s eyes in a way she didn’t at all care for.
“As long as he has to,” Dan said with no humor, then smirked. “Or at least until we get cancelled.”
“Hey,” Hal said. “What have I told you about the C-word? We gotta go.”
“Goodnight.”
“Goodnight.”
THE END