C'mon- just buy it.
You know you're curious.
So what if you felt burned by the last two albums.
This time it will be different.
Buy it- and I mean physically go into a store and buy a CD, don't just download it off iTunes.
You loved these guys 15 years ago.
You've seen them live seven times.
Aren't you going to go this time?
Don't you want to know the first six songs?
So what if they still write all their songs in 4/4 time- you used to find that endearing.
Who says the frontman's lost his edge?
He's just as cool as when he was main-lining heroin.
Who says he's just cannabilizing his old lyrics?
He's making allusions to his past work- like an inside joke.
Don't you get it?
Who says they're phoning it in?
They're not in this for the money.
It's about the music.
I'm sure they've buried the hatchet and thoroughly regret the break-up.
I'm sure they meant to spend their adult life with the guys they got high and drunk with when they were 18 years old.
It has nothing to do with them sleeping in a van rolling across the midwest while you were building the foundation to a career.
Look at that group photo.
Who cares if they're on their third guitarist?
I'm sure that look of emptiness in the bass player's eyes isn't a longing to sell real estate or be a vetrinary assistant.
They didn't cut these 12 tracks to cover their mortgages, alimony, child support, rehab and lawyers' fees- it's about the music.
And if they can put their name on this uninspired, humdrum opus, then the least you can do is buy it.
Face it- if you can't commit to a multi-decade relationship with a band, how are you ever going to make a lifelong commitment to a spouse?

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