today was FUN, but ZELDA's head hurts!
this morning MOMMY took ZELDA for a RIDE and we ended up at the VET.
the VET played her weird games with ZELDA for a while.
then DADDY picked me up for another RIDE.
ZELDA was in for another big surprise-
instead of going HOME we

the Cerebral
Stenography Chip

went to DADDY's WORK!
ZELDA always figured that WORK was a big field that DADDY and MOMMY went to PLAY in everyday, but its' not.
it was hard for ZELDA to see from her CAGE, but WORK looked like a HOUSE that went into the sky.
we went to a busy place where DADDY had lots of FRIENDS.
as soon as DADDY set ZELDA's CAGE on his TABLE, one of his FRIENDS BARKED at him and he left.
as soon as he did, two more FRIENDS came and took ZELDA.
they were wearing white dresses, like the one MOMMY got mad at ZELDA for going POTTY on.
they took ZELDA to a scary cold place.
then they gave ZELDA some CHEESE and i fell asleep.
when ZELDA woke up, i was back in my CAGE on DADDY's TABLE.
ZELDA's head hurt a lot!
ZELDA thought of groaning, but DADY still wasn't there.
then another one of DADDY's FRIENDS came in.
she picked up the CHEWTOY that DADDY keeps in his pants but won't
let ZELDA CHEW anymore.
she was acting sneaky and not playing with ZELDA.

the FRIEND took a gold square

out of the CHEWTOY and left.
ZELDA started BARKING even though i know its BAD.
ZELDA pushed the CAGE DOOR an it opened!
(DADDY's FRIENDS must not know MOMMY's trick for closing it all the way)
ZELDA followed the MOMMY back to her room, where she put the gold square in her own CHEWTOY and then put that in a bag.
when she left, ZELDA tried to get the CHEWTOY out of her bag, but it was hard!
ZELDA tried and tried but it was no use.
so ZELDA climbed in the bag and went POTTY.

when i got back to DADDY's ROOM, DADDY was angry that ZELDA got out of her CAGE.
DADDY BARKED at ZELDA and left me in the CAGE the whole RIDE HOME.
and after ZELDA tried to protect his CHEWTOY.
no fair.
anyway, we're HOME now and ZELDA's got my BONE, but ZELDA's head still hurts.
We at the Post love to give readers what they want.
Since focus group after focus group told us how much they love cute animals, we decided to go straight to the source.
We put a cerebral stenography chip, developed by Post sister-company Integrated Technologies, in the head of Zelda, a pug belonging to one of our veteran reporters, Conner Banks, without telling him.
Now Zelda can give us all the dog's-eye-view of the world, both literally wand figuratively.
Her CS chip will transcribe her thought into conversational English and capture some images from her point of view.
We're confident Zelda can redeem the technology with which we've had some minor setbacks, especially when used by our Temporal News Correspondent.

I Know You Stole My Card, Cindy
cbby Conner Banks
Post Manhattan Reporter

There has NOT been any drastic increase in identity theft cases lately.
I know you stole my Visa card, Cindy.
You're not going to get away with this.
I noticed it missing from my wallet a couple of weeks ago, but didn't think anything of it at the time.
You've written down the number since then, haven't you? more

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