C'mon, you can admit it-
You still need me.
Don't you, baby?
You need me to save the world with my Clinton Foundation.
Does anyone reading this have a charity with their name on it?
Didn't think so. (you don't count, Gates)
You need me flying around the world, freeing political prisoners with nothing more than my charisma.
You know what I gave Kim Jong-il?
My signature 3/4 grin and a dynamite handshake.
That's it.
You need me to tell you how to fix the ecomomy and create energy independence, because everyone else is too caught up in partisan bickering to be practical.
You need an ex-president who can give a lecture on global banking, browbeat a Fox News anchor, attend two fund raisers and still have time for cocktails in South Beach.
You need me guiding your golden boy Obama, so he has the benefit of experience when facing all those conservative thugs trying to make him fail.
Sound familiar?
I've seen it all before.
You need me feeling your pain in the face of ever-growing natural disasters, which Professor Perma-tan can't quite connect on, and my old friend Al isn't doing dick to stop.
But most of all, you need me to be out there being me.
You need an American giant out there looking cooler than President Sarkozy and more spontaneous than Sir Richard Branson.
You need a man of power who will never be accused of sexting strangers or attacking the maid, because you know the finest women in the world throw themselves at my feet.
And you root for me to get away with it.
Why?
Because you still need me, baby.
Don't worry.
I'm not going anywhere.
 
 

'you know the finest women in the world throw themselves
at my feet'
   
 
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