PepsiCo Agrees to Sponsor Syrian Conflict

sd by Shell Davis
Post Washington Reporter
July 13, 2012

President Barack Obama announced that a "limited police-action" in Syria this summer would be largely funded by product-placement.
"PepsiCo has agreed to be our partner in freeing the Syrian people," said President Obama said at a press conference Friday.
The "partnership" will consist of specific Pepsi products being advertised on weapons and military equipment for which the company is footing the bill.
"We're proud to introduce SoBe Vita-Boom ariel drones and Pepsi Next armored vehicles," said a grimacing Obama.
PepsiCo has also agreed to pay for Cool Ranch Doritos smart bombs and Aquafina FlavorSplash depleted uranium rounds.
Some have speculated that the president may have acted months sooner, saving thousands of lives, if not for an intractable Republican congress that would have refused to pay for it.
"Taste what's Next," said a reluctant Obama, "Syrian freedom!"



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