|Unaccustomed to the Customs:
Post Olympic Correspondents Encounter Difficulties with Chinese Security
|China Is Still
Oppressive to Women-
Even Foreign Reporters
|by Shell Davis
Post D.C. Reporter
|by Bethany Cook
I've been in China four days now and so far I absolutely hate it.
|I came to China with an open mind, despite all of the reports you hear about the government's oppression of its citizens.
I've had a terrible time here.
The flight over was bad enough.
I had Trip Safety hitting on me for nearly 14 hours.
Didn't he get married just last year?
What a slimeball.
I told customs that I thought he was smuggling drugs.
I hope they gave him a hard time.
They were certainly hard on me.
The female security guard searching my bag confiscated my dildo.
Yes, that's right-
I brought my vibrator to China.
I'm an accomplished woman of the 21st century and you're not going to shame me into silence or infringe upon my rights.
I think the guard had never seen one that large before.
She kept running her little fingers up and down the thing.
Then she blushed and put it in a blue clothe bag and said I'd get it back later.
I said if she wanted it that badly I wouldn't be needing it back.
She got angry and told me to leave.
The next day the little blue bag was delivered to my room.
Instead of my dildo, they sent me the most disgusting porno I've ever seen in my life: The Secret Life of P.J. Bones.
The protagonist, loosely based on my boss, made his way aound the world, having sex with women of different nationalities, with toys, midgets, livestock-
The point is it was sick!
What kind of a joke was that?
Are they calling me a whore, trying to shame me?
Are they making fun of the people I work for?
Do they want me to frig myself off to this garbage?
It makes me worry that there are cameras in my room.
Who knows what kind of sick perverts I'm dealing with.
And what happened to my dildo?
I'll probably see it on eBay.
I can't wait to go home.
This has been the best week of my life!
|World War III
Out in Eastern Europe
|allowed in NATO, Georgia still had U.S. backing because they were one of the few countries to join the "Coalition of the Willing" that invaded Iraq.
In a move of desperation, Russia quickly secured alliances with Iran, North Korea, China, Pakistan and Turkey.
The U.S. told England, France, Germany, Japan, India, and -well, most of the free
|world- that they were on our side.
Tensions are growing, now it's just a matter of time before someone overreacts and we have an extensive intercontinental ground and nuclear war, killing billions, followed by a global depression and multi-century setback-
So, you know- keep an eye on that.