London 2012
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London Residents Irate at Having to Move Rooftop Cannons for Olympic Missiles
  rcby Ryan Church
Post London Reporter
June 22, 2012


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RELATED NEWS

  The British army has been installing rocket launchers on the rooftops of London buildings to protect the Olympic games from ariel terrorist attacks- or trying to, at least.
They seem to have hit a snag:
The rooftops are already cluttered with artillary from the 1800s.
"Get your bloody hands off my cannon!" Dorian Walters, 74, yelled at authorites attempting to install Rapier missile launchers on his roof.
"I need it to keep those wankers in the Yorkshire Flats in line."
Apparently, dozens of buildings have cannons from the "London Flat Wars," which lasted from 1870 until 1945.
"This used to be a much rougher neighborhood," said Walters.
The cannons, mostly from 19th century British warships, are owned by the residents and all still pointed at other buildings.
"The (people) in Tudor Rises were the most brutal," said Cynthia Wainright, 81. "They'd shell you on holidays, or even if they just knew it was your birthday."
Wainright said there has been an informal cease-fire since the end of World War II.
"The bombing of London was actually a blessing," said Wainright. "For once we got insurance money for our damages."
The defense ministry said it is sure the situation will be sussed out in time, though it admits several Rapier missiles have gone missing.
"I've got a little surprise for those Yorkshire wankers," said Walters.
 

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