Is P.F. Jones?


by Embedded Infidel
JMG News Service
June 22, 2009
Iranian Student 'Relieved' to
Get Away from KSU Violence
by Ryan Church
Post London Reporter
June 21, 2009
Iran's government-run national television service, the Islamic Republic of Iran Broadcasting (IRIB), announced Monday that it will be launching its most ambitious reality program yet- Everybody Loves Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.
"We want to capitalize on our recently-re-elected president's immence popularity," said IRIB chief Ali Larijani, "and getting 67% of the vote means the people really love him."
The reality show will have a different competitive format for each episode, with one unifying theme.
"Ahmadinejad will win each week," said Larijani, "at least, that's what we expect."
IRIB expects record numbers of Iranian viewers to watch the president traverse a Nerf obstacle course or woo a heavily burkha-ed bachloette.
"The people of Iran will love this show!" ordered Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei.
Imar Kahbie, a third-year KSU student, is reportedly "relieved" to be away from the violence of Kent and home for the summer in the calm of Tehran.
"It was horrible," said Kahbie, a junior biology major, "Gunmen were shooting into the crowd and bombarding us with chemical weapons."
Kahbie was refering to the events of "College Fest,"an annual block party in Kent, the month before.
He said he never expected to see that kind of anarchy and oppression in the U.S.
"There were fires all around us. Some fraternity men flipped a car. I was in fear for my life."
Kahbie said he was particularly surprised by the response by local police.
"They arrived in body armor, like soldiers," said Kahbie. "I thought they were there to save us, but they shot pepper-spray balls and beanbags at us. They shot my friend. She couldn't walk for two days."
Kahbie says he's been quietly relaxing in his parents' Tehran home for the past few weeks.
"Friends kept Twittering me, so I turned off my phone."
Kahbie says he has not let local tensions interrupt his "down-time."
"I heard a ruckus, but I just turned up the stereo. Why? Has something happened?"

Tehran Burns to Ground
by Embedded Infidel
JMG News Service
June 21, 2009

In the wake of last week's contested presidential election results in Iran, hundreds of thousands of Iranians have taken to the streets of Tehran in what started as a peaceful protest until gunmen fired into the crowds, promting people to destroy any trace of the Revolutionary Guard with sweet, sweet fire... more

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