The Islamic Republic of Afghanistan announced Thursday that they would be happy to facilitate the downfall of the American Empire.
"We're very good at this," said Afghanistan President Hamid Karzai. "Your people don't know what they're getting into."
Karzai was refering to his country's ability to bankrupt any empire that has made the mistake of occupying it.
"Afghanistan has helped drain the British, Persian and Russian empires of revenue and man-power." said Aziz Pashtun, a brick-layer in Herat. "We can wear down you Americans."
President Obama has vowed to make the war in Afghanistan, started over seven years ago by his predeccessor, George W. Bush, his priority.
Karzai, who now presides over the forth most corrupt government on Earth, thinks this will be a mistake.
"We took down Alexander the Great and Genghis Kahn," said Karzai. "But, sure, Obama will wrap this up in no time."
Others, like General David McKiernan, the top American military commander in Afghanistan, don't believe we have reasonable expectations of how to succeed in this conflict.
"Basically we have to build them a new country," said McKiernan. "Highways, hospitals, schools, factories- you name it. Then we have to accept that the country we build will probably fall into the hands of a regime we don't like."
McKiernan says there is a light at the end of the tunnel, though.
"Hopefully, within a couple of generations, their prosperity, literacy and human rights will increase and they'll want to talk to us again. Hopefully. "