July 7, 2007

YOU'RE IN
MY FUCKING
WORLD,
LINEARS

Let's get something straight-
YOU ARE ALL MEANINGLESS INSECTS CRAWLING THROUGH MY KINGDOM.
I'M IN CHARGE HERE!
To address Chrone's allegations,
YES, I have a time machine of my own.
YES, I will rule you all, and long before you ever realize it, but...
NO, I'M NOT GOING TO END THE WORLD!
Chrone doesn't know what he's talking about.
I'm trying to create a Utopia for us all.
What he saw was just one possible future, and you know what?
I'M NOT FINISHED YET!
The space-time continuum is a fluid, and complicated, beast.
It's an incredibly complex equation to balance, even without some amatuer like Chrone interfering.
I'm trying to lead humanity into its greatest era ever.
And when I say lead, I mean drag you all kicking and screaming.
I will decieve, incite and terrify you simpletons into making the right choices.
I'm not saying it'll be easy- for any of us.
It'll get downright messy at times.
I have to make a lot of tough decisions, and you won't all make it to the promise land.
But we will get there.
I only tell you all this to see the looks on your stupid faces.
I'll erase this so you all keep loving me.
Because I can.
Fucking linears.

drDon't Worry-
the World's
Not Going
Anywhere

First, please let me assure you that the world is not coming to an end.
You're all safe and sound.
I would also like to assure you all that I AM NOT the comic book villain Chrone paints me as.
I've built my financial empire on hard work and good reporting - not temporal trickery.
You know me.
And after my success in business and media, I'd like to think you trust me.
But this business about me running for President is absolutely absurd.
I've never even considered such a move.
Although, I must say, I'm not ruyling it out, per se.
It would just have to be the right circumstances.
And there would have to be an outcry from the people for me to serve.
If I were elected President, I seriously doubt it would be THE END OF THE WORLD.
I'd like to apologize to you all for the conduct of Chrone Osphere.
My ambition to bring you time travel outshined my judgement in how to best serve humanity.
I also took a chance on who I chose to be "Chrone," so his bloodshed is on my hands.
I am responsible for unleashing him on the timeline.
The proverbial buck stops on my desk, even when I'm not there.
Integrated Tech and I are working hard on retrieving Time Ship 1.
As for you, Chrone, I say this:
You've got to stop.
I can't let you interfere with the course of history.
I've come too far and worked too hard to let you unravel it all.
I will use every resource at my disposal to bring you down.
If you really want to go to war with me, you'd better be prepare to fall-
and fall hard.