Bring on
the Hot
I Want to Offer
My Sincerest

by Chip Foxx
Columnist, Foxx-Eye View
May 23, 2015


by Chip Foxx
Columnist, Foxx-Eye View
May 25, 2015


Summer's here and you know what that means-
Yummy yummy interns!
They're not all college girls, but most of them are!
And thanks to all the affirmative action going on, they show up in every shade, with every accent you could imagine.
It's like getting a variety pack of hotties.
Just make sure they're not Filipino.
Can't have that- not anymore.

That's the REAL racism- not hiring one enthic group just because I might like it.
Fucking hypocrits.
Anyway- I hope there's a cute little Pakistanian or Iranian in the bunch.
There's nothing like making someone read Dear Abby to you in a thick Middle Eastern accent.
Oooooo- I just want to line them all up right now!
HR always want you to pick them out of applications, but I always want to see the talent for myself.
jonesspeak dict-appBesides, the ones that will really go the extra mile, if you know what I mean, tell you with their eyes when you meet them.
No application will tell me if I can get blown in a closet whenever I want.
Okay, I think I want a round-faced Asian girl from the midwest and a black Brit with blonde hair.
Don't get so specific, Chip!
I'm only setting myself up for disappointment.
I know I should trust in the intern gods, they always bring me a good crop.
So, like I said-
Bring on the hot interns!


Readers, coworkers and potential JMG internship applicants-
I want to take this opportunity to apologize for my last column, if you can call it that.
It was a drunken error I never should have recorded, let alone submitted.
I'm sorry alcohol lets me say things I don't really mean.
I'm also sorry that modern technology makes it possible to aggrivate the situation in ways I clearly never intended.
Anyone who knows me knows that I would never objectify young women in such a manor.
Now, it's true that I've had some problems with alcohol and other addictiive substances in the past. (x2)(x3)
This is my disease.
I am not ashamed.
It is my cross to bear.
It's also true that I've had disagreements with an underling or two (or 23) in the past.
But I vow to you that I've learned from my mistakes, and communicate much better than I used to.
Regardless, I apologize for any offense you may have taken, and promise to disable the JonesSpeak dictation app on my phone to prevent any hurt feelings in the future.
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