How the Liberals Conspired to Frame Congressman Mark Foley

October 9, 2006

Last week the nation was shook by the revelation that Florida Representative Mark Foley had been sending sexually explicit emails and instant messages to underage male Congressional Pages.
As the week wore on, the tapestry of Foley’s long-hidden inappropriate behavior unraveled into a titillating tale that involved alcohol abuse, sexual abuse at the hands of church clerics, and a cover-up involving the Republican congressional leadership.
Now, as the smoke clears from all of the political fallout, we’re left with the raw facts and must come to the only natural conclusion:
Mark Foley was the victim of a massive liberal conspiracy to defraud the voters of their rightful leadership in the 2006 midterm election.
Indeed, this conspiracy goes back decades to Foley’s childhood, when liberal Democrats first suspected he had congressional potential.
"They were afraid of his integrity, even as a child," said Rep. Ray LaHood, R-Illinois. "That’s why they sent that priest in to molest him- you know, to scramble his thinking."
The abuse Foley suffered as a child created a time bomb in his otherwise perfectly-normal brain.
The liberals then came up with an elaborate plan to arrange Foley’s marriage to a wife frigid enough to make him yearn for a man’s touch.
Furthermore, the liberals allowed Dennis Hastert, Speaker of the House, to discover Foley’s inappropriate behavior in 2000, just so it would look like a cover-up six years later.
The liberal conspirators then placed a young republican high school student named Jordan Edmund as a congressional page in 2001-02 to tempt Foley.
Edmund, on behalf of the liberal conspiracy, then prodded Foley into the exchange as a prank, The Drudge Report printed Thursday.
And now, as dozens of pages step forward with their own lurid tales, the conspirators continue to bring up this non-news the month before the election.
Hastert, R-Ill., last week blamed the “liberal Democrats and the Jew-run news media” for leaking the story and has refused to resign his speaker's post over his mishandling of the scandal.
Rep. Patrick McHenry, R-North Carolina, said Democrats should be investigated for leaking the explicit e-mails to gain a political advantage before the elections.
“This plan has clearly been in the works for decades,” said McHenry. “I don’t think the voters will fall for it.”

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