"Maybe we can tell them we can't handle the traffic," said Tampa Mayor Bob Buckhorn at an emergency Town Hall meeting of community and business leaders.
"Maybe we could say there's no water," said Tampa Bay Rays owner Stuart Sternberg, "or call in a bomb threat."
"Now we're thinking!" said Buckhorn. "We'll say someone's trying to nuke Tampa!"
While some residents claim it's for the Romney tickets' lackluster VP selection of Paul Ryan or the general rapey vibe the party's had the past week, they all agree they no longer want the convention.
"Can we at least have the cops keep an eye on them?" asked Alissa Newman, coffee shop owner.
Mayor Buckhorn insisted everyone stay until they got their story straight.
"We can't just say it's because they're going to lose," said Buckhorn.