I Guess Oklahoma City Won't Be Stealing
the Sunflower Music Festival, After All
Too Soon, Dicks!
(an internal memo leaked
by The Army of Truth)
|by Sarah Quigney
Post Topeka Reporter
May 22, 2013
|by Vladimir Himler
IJI Vice President
in Charge of Synergy
|Some folks in Oklahoma City thought they could lure the Sunflower Music Festival away from Topeka, Kansas, after 27 years.
I guess they were wrong.
Hours after a devastating tornado had incapacitated Oklahoma City, Sunflower board members came crawling back to Topeka.
Topekans won't be too preoccupied dodging gas leaks and looking for missing loved ones to enjoy a series of classical, jazz and chamber music concerts.
Thus, the Sunflower Music Festival will return, starting June 7, to the Washburn University campus.
"Yes, it will be in White Concert Hall, just like last year," said Charles Stegeman, artistic director. "Are you really focusing on the music festival at a time like this? People have died."
It's just as well.
Okalahoma City won't be able to make good on that fancy parade they promised, anyway.
Not with all that debri on their streets.
I'm just sayin'.
|What the Hell are you fuck-monkeys in Topeka doing?
There are a lot of ways to exploit a natural disaster in a neighboring state.
Show disaster photos, demonstrate connections to your area, juxtapose your level of preparedness with the impacted areas.
You know what you don't do?
YOU DON'T TAUNT VICTIMS OF A LETHAL TORNADO!
IT'S A P.R. SHITSTORM!
And for what? A music festival?
I'm from Europe, and we don't even care about chamber music.
FIRE SARAH QUIGNEY!
AND DON'T PRINT THIS MEMO, FUCKTARDS!