Asshole 'Proud' to Be First
9/11 Memorial Streaker
np by Vinnie Giovanni
Post Contributor
September 20, 2011
Some first-class douchebag actually said he was "proud" to be the first person to run nude through the September 11th Memorial in the World Trade Center Plaza Monday afternoon.
"I'm the proudest man in the world!" yell Nick Mallard, a store clerk from Trenton, before NYPD officers tased him in the Tower 1 reflecting pool.
He would be from fucking Jersey, wouldn't he?
This asshole waited eight whole days after the memorial opened before he desecrated the memories of 3,000 slain Americans.
"I remember seeing the first streaker in the new Yankee Stadium and thinking, 'I wish that had been me,'" Mallard said later.
Public reaction to this piece of shit has been swift.
"Someone should cut off that fairy's little dick and feed it to him," suggested Mark Wallace, construction worker on the Freedom Tower.
I hear you, Mark.
Luckily, this genius didn't bother asking who paid his bail.
Some concerned citizens are currently letting Mallard know the egregiousness of his error, and I doubt he'll ever disrespect anyone again.

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