South Carolina pulled some crazy shit yesterday that, in this reporter's opinion, was an obvious stunt to get back on the national radar.
"We just have to come clean," said Republican gubernatorial candidate Nikki Haley at a joint press conference with Democratic senatorial candidate Alvin Greene and talkshow host and former South Carolinian Stephen Colbert.
"The three of us have been having a consensual, extra-marital affair with a donkey and, sometimes, a paraplegic cameraman," explained Colbert.
"We didn't do this to seem more datable or less creepy," said Greene in 90% humidity.
"Or to appeal to liberal and independent men," said Haley, who's been accused affairs with Republican lobbyists and bloggers.
"Or for the ratings," said Colbert, who once ran a presidential campaign, sponsored by Doritos, in South Carolina.
"Or for the free publicity," said Greene, who recently faced charges for showing computer pornography to a college co-ed-
That's a crime?
Anyway, Haley apologized to her husband and said something about how picturing her with Greene shoundn't at all curry favor with the African-American community.
Lucky me, I got to fly down to Raleigh, since JMG closed that Post bureau for not pulling its weight, just to hear South Carolinians saying crazy shit to get back in the news.
Just so someone would care about them again.
At least, that's the best explaintion I can come up with.
I could call PETA about the donkey schtick, but I don't want to dignify this crap or waste any more time on it.
I'm flying back to New York.