Senate Subcommittee Holds Hearing on Time-Travel
Pro-Lifers Join Protest Against Temporal

by Jennifer Cox
Post Manhattan Reporter
by Jennifer Cox
Post Manhattan Reporter
Is P.F. Jones?

After growing concerns over the Post's Temporal News Program, the U.S. Senate formed a Time Travel subcommittee that held its first hearing Tuesday.

The hearing, presided over by committee chair Senator Marmaduke Dumblebaum, included experts from Integrated Tech and the Coalition for Linear Existence, a bi-partisan group opposed to time-travel.

"Well, this is clearly an issue that affects all of us," said Clooney at the hearing." Consider Cameron Davis, Shell Davis' daughter. She took a class at Columbia on the impact of Chrone Osphere in the Spring of 2005 when, by JMG's own records, the temporal news program wasn't started until June of 2006. You tell me if we should be worried."

The Davis scandal has reignited the debate over time travel, and brought pro-life groups into the mix (right>>>).

However, public opinion could have little effect, as the actions of Chrone Osphere don't fall under any law-enforcement agency's jurisdiction, and no one would know how to stop him anyway.
"It's the ultimate Pandora's Box," said Dr. Russell Peterman, a research scientist who worked on the temporal inversion project at G.E. before it was bought out by IJI.
"What you've got to remember is the human factor," he emphasised. "Once time travel exists in one time, it exists in all times. That's the human factor."

This week pro-life groups joined the vocal opposition to, Chrone Osphere, the time-traveling reporter for the JMG News Service who was recently implicated in a sexual harassment suit by White House correspondent Shell Davis.
"This man is an abomination, and he must be stopped," said Joe Scheidler, national director of the Pro-Life Action League. "This time-traveling monster brags about going back in time to erase another human being from existence. 'Chrone' admits to terminatining the life of a man he knew would have grown up to be a contributing member of society."
The "contributing member of society" Scheidler mentioned is "Mr. Parker," a man whose existence cannot be confirmed, as the only proof is mention of him in Chrone Osphere's column.
"He killed him just so he commit statutory rape," said Scheidler.
Scheidler refused to comment on the general consensus that if Parker had once existed, he probably did commit the original sexual act with Ms. Davis, as Chrone Osphere reported in the same column.
"That's just speculation," Scheidler said.


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