Real Pimps Assault
|by Vinnie Giovanni
Post Manhattan Contributor
November 1, 2009
|by Lindsey Quinn
Post Manhattan Reporter
Three men were assaulted Saturday night on their way to a costume party in Morningside Heights.
|You know why I'm a Democrat?
No, it's not because of my ties to the unions.
It's because they understand human nature.
Once you see people for the greedy, short-sighted creatures they are, and always will be, you can only come to one conclusion:
You have to regulate.
Take last night.
I was surveying a business associate's operation when we came across a couple of competitiors trying to pouch our talent.
"We were doing great until those guys showed up."
|Some people underestimate my associate, Fancy G, because he's only 5'6" and a little light in the loafers.
That being said, if you cross Fancy he'll make you eat a brick and watch your parents' house burn to the ground.
So we see these three flamboyantly dressed middle-management wannabes talking to two of our sales team leaders.
We knew these douche-nozzles weren't clients, so we intervened immediately.
Medallion boy tried to give me some lip, so I had to regulate his breathing.
Fancy G started regulating the other two's kneecaps.
They kept talking smack, so we regulated their faces.
We regulated until they were crying in the fetal position on the pavement.
But you see, by being firm, we protected our business without any bailouts, meltdowns or hostile takeovers.
That's why you regulate.
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