Three weeks after its premier, CNN's newest edition, "Parker Spitzer," has continued to lose its small audience until there's only one viewer left: Harold Wilkens.
"It's 8:30 and we all know what that means," said Eliot Spitzer, former prostitute-patronizing governor of New York, "time to take your thyroid medicine, Harold."
"We'll wait," promised Kathleen Parker, Pulitzer Prize-winning conservative columnist.
"I love Kathleen and Eliot," said Wilkens, 68, retired. "They're so smart and funny. And Kathleen's nice, like my daughter-in-law."
The last four episodes of PS have deteriorated into half-hour on-air phone conversations with Wilkens.
"We don't even cut to commercials anymore," said a CNN production assistant under the condition of annonyminity. "It doesn't matter, there are no advertisers left anyway."
Industry experts expect PS to be quietly disposed of soon, most likely while Harold is asleep.
Prior to the show's premier, Spitzer had made most of his income as a pundit on MSNBC and DNN.
"I don't regret burning those bridges at all," insisted Spitzer.
Wilkens, for his part, hopes the show will remain on the air indefinitely.
"This is the most company I've had in years."