Two weeks after the final episode of Oprah Winfrey's 25-year-long daytime talkshow, the world-famous host was seen begging for change outside the Chicago Greyhound bus station.
"I would make your dinner party FABULOUS!" Oprah promised people ignoring her outside the terminal.
Critics have been left to speculate how the media mogul could have lost $3 billion in such a short amount of time.
"Who's her accountant, MC Hammer?" quipped an overly-jubilant Wendy Williams.
Oprah insiders say they saw the downfall coming, but were powerless to stop it.
"That blowout party with Whitney Houston was the first mistake," said long-time personal assistant Beverly Coleman.
Soon Oprah fell prey to people trying to take advantage of her good nature.
"She thought she bought a TV network from a Nigerian prince online," confessed Coleman. "She always was too trusting."
Oprah then reportedly spent her last $36 million financing the most expensive pornographic film in history, only to have it fall through when Stedman Graham didn't show up to the shoot.
Since then, a despondent Oprah has wondered the streets, trying to give away non-existent cars to strangers.
"How would you like a brand-new Chrysler 200!" Oprah yells at people getting off the 11:15 from Detroit. "Can I stay in the trunk for a while?"