A duck covered with oil from the JP spill in the Gulf of Mexico communicated his desire for environmentalists to "fuck off" Saturday afternoon.
The duck, nicknamed "Greasy," caught the eyes of conservationists who arrived on Biloxi beach to clean wildlife affected by the oil rig spill.
"Greasy would go roll around in an oil slick right after we washed him off with dish soap. After seven times, we decided he liked it."
Word of the oil-friendly duck reached not only Jones Petroleum but their parent company, International Jones, Inc., as well.
Hearing of the cute anecdote amongst the ecological disaster, Vladimir Himler, I.J.I. VP in charge of synergy, sent a "thought helmet" prototype, based on the cerebral strenography technology developed by Integrated Tech for the Temporal News Program.
Once the thought helmet was fitted and calibrated on Greasy, he indicated his disdain for the beachfront intervention.
"NO DON'T TOUCH DON'T TOUCH FUCK OFF GREASY LIKES DARK SLICK SLIPPERY ROLL AROUND MUCH FUN."
While the Obama administration scrambles to contain what may become the biggest oil spill in history, I.J.I. is focusing on Greasy's take on the situation.
"GREASY LIKE BLACK SLICK DON'T CARE MIGHT DIE FUCK OFF HIPPIE."
Himler is eager for the clean-up, both in gulf and in public relations.
"If Greasy forgives us, I'm sure everyone else will, too."