President Barack Obama told the graduating class at Ohio State University Saturday, "Whatever you do in life, just promise me one thing- that you won't ever run for president."
"Seriously, it's a soul-crushing experience," said President Obama. "Don't do it."
Laughter fluttered across the crowd of graduates in their caps and gowns.
"This is no joke," the president said.
"Your whole life will be unjustly scrutinized. You'll be accused of outlandish things. You'll have to compromise everything you believe in. Opponents will fight you doing the most basic aspects of you job. Even your wife will turn on you."
Thousands of attendees sat in awkward silence.
"But it's not all bad," Obama said, trying to reel it back in. "You get to fly in Air Force One. You get to live in the White House. Meals are included..."
"Besides," he said, "with the economy in such great shape, you'll all be able to find other jobs, jobs in your field."
"Fine. Have fun moving back into you parents' houses. I'm out."