Madden to Soccer Fans-
'Eat Shit and Die'

watch Madden's meltdown
  sf by Ryan Church
Post London Reporter
June 13, 2010

Famed NFL coach and commentator John Madden was fired from ABS coverage of World Cup soccer after telling fans around the world to "eat shit and die."
Madden, who apparently forgot ABS Sports was paying him $9.5 million to advocate the 2010 FIFA World Cup in South Africa, got into an argument with fellow commentator Gary Lineker during Saturday's USA/British match and concluded by berating the sport and its followers.
"It's fucking boring," said a visibly drunk Madden.
"He was pissed, and not handling it well at all," said Lineker, who usually covers English soccer on BBC.
Madden became frustrated with the lack of scoring after his nineth Jones & Jones.
"How 'bout we get rid of the goalies?" he repeated seven times before Lineker responded.
"The excitement's in the athletic plays, John-boy," said Lineker.
"In America, we appreciate good athletic plays- that's why we give them fucking points," said Madden. "And you call me John-boy again we're stepping the fuck outside."
"But John-b-, John," said Lineker, "soccer has the most fans around the world."
"They can eat shit and die."
Lineker attempted to calm the situation by pointing out that a soccer player ran approximately seven miles in a game.
"Yeah- that'd be like a hundren touchdowns," rebutted Madden. "I'm not saying they're not world-class athletes. I'm saying those athletes are just jerking-off down there."
Lineker agreed to disagree as security hauled off an irate Madden.
ABS stated its intent to sue Madden, as well as forward him any fines from the FCC.

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