Jones Health Assurance, a Post sister-company, says it can determine which American citizens have cancer, and will share the information with anyone who is approved for a JHA policy.
"We have a computer algorythm that can tell whether or not you have cancer, and will share the information with any of our policy holders," said JHA spokesperson Halley Whitman.
The list, based solely on profiles of past purchases and web searches, is said to be 98.5% accurate.
JHA competitors say this technology, known as predictive analytics, is being used for mass extortion.
"You can't say 'we know if you've got cancer and won't tell you unless you pay us,'" said Mark T. Bertolini, CEO and President of Aetna Healthcare.
He may have a point.
But ask yourself, wouldn't you rather be sure you don't have cancer?
Whitman thinks you would.
"We're just finding the best ways to serve our customers," said Whitman.
"That's the kicker- they don't tell anyone who actually has cancer," said Bertolini.
"If JHA determines that you have it, they won't approve you for a policy, so they don't have to tell you. Dicks."