In a surprise move, President Barack Obama announced Monday morning that he was nominating "Judge Judy" Sheindlin to the United States Supreme Court.
"She's got the legal knowledge, common sense and, dare I say, the sass that our highest court needs to face America's modern challenges," said President Obama.
Republican leadership, which had been planning to filibuster whomever the president nominated, has found itself at a loss.
"America loves Judge Judy," said an annonymous G.O.P. staffer. "We don't know what to do."
While everyone on Capital Hill is praising Sheindlin (or at least keeping their trap shut), her nomination isn't without criticism.
"She's a hack," said Judge Joe Wapner, 90-year-old star of the first 2,484 episodes of The People's Court. "And why do we need another skirt on the court, anyway?"
Wapner is not alone in his assessment.
"Judy's not street-wise enough," said TV's Judge Joe Brown. "I would have gotten the call, if not for Clarence Thomas."