Jobs Relieved to Not Be in Hell

by Gabriel
Celestial Bystander
October 5, 2011

Apple co-founder Steve Jobs is reportedly "relieved" to have been admitted through the gates of Heaven Wednesday night.
"Wha- really?" asked Jobs. "No, that's cool. I'm totally down."
Jobs later confessed he thought he was going straight to Hell.
"There was that situation, with that girl- but it went away." he said.
Jobs had also come close to using up his good will after his rift with Bill Gates.
"I called off the guy before anything happened, so, no harm-no foul."
As it turns out, the Heavenly Father would have condemned Jobs for his use of Asian sweatshops alone, if not for his love of the iPod Touch.
"He plays Angry Birds all fucking day," admitted the Holy Ghost.

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