TRADE: my innocence for your disappointment.

If you're in L.A. and looking for the right sexual pariphenalia, shop at Pleasuremax

WANTED: international finance expert, no history of rape!

when you fight like that, all of manhood weeps

FOR SALE: temporal inverversion core, slightly used

Keep your head on your shoulders at the work party. and your pants on, period.

bacon and cheese are not food groups

WANTED: proof President Obama caused the tsunami

Looking for Dayman, Champion of the Sun. Call Nightman.

looking for a date before the rapture. bring lube.

TRADE: my ex for your daughter

FOR SALE: Kirk Cameron video collection, some blood & sand