Retiring G.E. Whistleblower Claims Time Travel Is a ‘Hoax’


by Conner Banks
Post Manhattan Reporter
Is P.F. Jones?

A scientist retiring from General Electric publicly alleged that JMG’s Temporal News Program was a “hoax” yesterday.
“The research at G.E. could not have lead to anyone traveling through time,” said Dr. Russell Peterman, who headed the particle physics research department at General Electric Laboratories.
Chrone Osphere is a hoax,” concluded Peterman.
International Jones, Inc. purchased General Electric and all of her subsidiaries in March of 2006.
At the time it was thought that P.F. Jones had brokered the merger to acquire G.E.’s NBC/Universal division to compliment his Jones Media Group holdings.
Wall Street’s collective jaw dropped when he sold G.E. on the open market four months later.
The sale coincided with Jones’ launch of JMG’s Temporal News Program, lead by “Correspondent in Time” Chrone Osphere.
His time machine, Time Ship 1, was supposedly based on G.E. research and completed by Integrated Technologies.
“That simply couldn’t be,” claims Dr. Peterson.
“Our research on temporal particle saturation couldn’t have lead to time travel, only the TIF.”
The Temporal Isolation Field, or TIF, was a proprietary secret of time travel until recently revealed by Chrone Osphere himself.
“The TIF, in theory, could isolate a person or object from its own causal timeline. But without the ability to remove one’s self from the timeline, i.e. time travel, such technology would not be applicable to anything.”
A spokesperson for Integrated Technologies called the allegations a “thinly-veiled attack on the competition.”
“Peterson is clearly pretending to violate the discretionary clause of his contract with G.E. to discredit JMG, who has consistently been gaining its news audience from NBC viewers,” said IT spokesperson Melanie Chambers.
Dr. Richard Wang, whose background in space shuttle and fighter jet engineering prepared him to make Time Ship 1 a reality, had a different take.
“Maybe it's ego,” mused Wang. “He just can’t take the fact that we advanced his research further.”
As usual, P.F. Jones was unavailable for comment, which is unfortunate, considering how pivotal he is in this controversy.
“P.F. was heavily involved in the development of Time Ship 1- from the research to the ship’s design,” said Wang. “A lot of the data and technology was brought from G.E. by P.F. himself. He didn’t trust anyone.”



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