A group of armed gunmen invaded a local electronics store this weekend, took seven hostages and started a stand-off they plan to continue throughout Super Bowl Sunday.
"We just want to watch the Playoffs on bigscreens for once," said unidentified assailant #1. "Now get the NFL Network on these TVs ASAP."
Security footage shows six white males entered Lincoln Lectronics in Silver Hills with assault riffles and a pallet of beer Saturday morning.
"They say they won't release us until after the Super Bowl," said Lectronics manager Kirk Dillfer on the phone. "They say they won't hurt us if you get them Doritos and these PS3 games we don't carry."
Police negotiators say the gunmen are also demanding pizzas, chicken wings and sub sandwiches for the duration of the stand-off.
"They originally wanted the Lions in the Super Bowl, but quickly conceded that that was unreasonable," said Donald Masing, police chief of Silver Hills.
"They promise to surrender after the Super Bowl's post-game wrap-up, so we're just going to wait it out," said Masing.
Masing plans to keep one unit on the scene until February 6th, just to see if the guys need anything.
"They made their choice, and they know they're going to jail, so I kind of respect that," said Masing.
"I might get 'em some party trays for the Bowl."