Ford Motors announced Wednesday that it would give away a Detroit-area house to any American buying a 2012 Explorer throughout the month of January.
"We love Detroit, and now you can too!" said Ford spokesperson Mike Rowe.
Most of the free houses are located in the same neighborhoods as the remaining Ford auto workers.
"They're all abandoned and bringing down our property values!" said Sally Demming, Taurus finishing specialist.
Many of the houses are condemned and inhabited by the homeless, adolescent gangs or wildlife.
"I saw three middle-schoolers jump a bear outside the Johnson's old duplex. It was vicious," said Demming.
Needless to say, the promotion has met a mixed reception.
"I'd love a free house, but Detroit?" said Dom Reichling, potential auto customer. "Fuck that."
Some have even accused the Ford dealers of dishonest practices.
"They didn't even tell me about the house," said Samantha Redding. "I just found the mortgage in my paperwork when I got home. Do I have to pay these property taxes?"
'I'd love a free house, but Detroit? Fuck that.'