NASA has repeatedly lost remote control of the Curiosity rover on Mars to an 11-year-old boy with a smartphone, a drunk spokesperson admitted Tuesday.
"The little shit's got an Android and that's it!" said NASA spokeswoman Amy Mainzer after seven Cosmopolitans.
She's refering to Jimmy Bertram who's about to start sixth grade in Pamona.
Mainzer insists that Bertram has highjacked their satellite and control of the rover from NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory at the California Institute for Technology in Pasadena, California.
"We've asked his asshole mom to ground him but she won't- enabling bitch," said Mainzer before downing another shot of tequila for which she had no intention of paying.
Bertram claims to have stumbled into NASA controls by accident, when he was actually looking for national security.
"I wanted to fly a war drone," Bertram said. "This rover shit is boring."