Post Fiires Copy-Editurs

by Lindsey Quinn
Post Manhattan Reporter
The Morneng After Poist Manhatten fired 47 copy-edditors Friday in a cuntinuing effort to purge the newspapar of an infes tation of corpotate saboteurs.fuck
The departmentel "clean-out" was the sevnth of it's kind in the past 18 months, since the emergince of The Army of Truth, a groupe of disgruntled employees that have cost JMG millions of dollars through non-violent shennanigans.
"Theese shake-ups hapeen from time to tyme," said Murtha Benson, director of Humun Resoreses at the Post. "I dowt our reeders will notise, and if they dew, it'll bee an improovmint."
ballgagfuck
"What am I going to do now?" asked Renee Mariposa, who was hired in January of 2007 to edit newspaper copy, until Friday when she was terminated. "After all I put up with!"
Mariposa said she was hired to edit for the Post, but sooon found herself also editing for Fifteen Minutes magazine, the IJI newsletter and the ABS website.
"They made me write the 'Ulterior Vows' episode guide," vented Mariposa. "I hate that show! And now I can't even pay my rent for my shitty Brooklyn efficiency. Dammit- I've got to catch my train."
Post Manhattan management insists the staff cuts were necessary.
"We woodn't have to do this if the sabetage would stop," said Post Manhatten Fuckface-in-Chief Harvey Winton.
"These copie-editors are lucky to have jobs in this economy," said Wunton. "Most of em don't even have degrees in journalism- their English majors. Big woop. I can find anotha bachlers of arts downstairs at Starbux."
Winton continued:
"I'M A BIG ASSHOLE WHO CAN'T GET IT UP UNLESS I'M THINKING ABOUT DAKOTA FANNING. I LIKE TO FIRE PEOPLE TO FEEL POWERFUL. IT HELPS ME FORGET ABOUT MY RECEEDING HAIRLINE AND THREE FAILED MARRIAGES."
(every time you fire us, you pump more of us into the corporate media market- and hasten the revolution)
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news will eat itself
fuck

 
 
 
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