The Atlanta Coca-Cola Bottling and Distribution Center announced today that it will be hiring every last unemployed person in the area with one glaring exception: you.
While Coca-Cola appreciates your application, they've decided to go another direction, that being any applicant who isn't you.
Yes, they know they just hired your friend James.
And "that bitch" Sheniqua.
What you don't know is that they're about to hire your neighbor, Ramone.
He doesn't have his G.E.D. like you , but he does demonstrate that "go-get-'em" attitude Coke likes in its shipping department.
They respected your interviewing style as well, offering little-to-no eye contact and one-word responses.
They appreciate that you spent an hour on the bus getting there.
And, yes, they do understand your need to pay for "the light bill, dime bags and baby food."
Coca-Cola wishes you the best of luck in this tumultuous economy.
Feel free to re-apply with them in six months.