After reviewing the past week's nationwide revenue drop, Chick-fil-A's president has decided to reverse the company's stance against same-sex marriage.
"We're cool with any type of marriage, just come back," said Dan Cathy from Chick-fil-A's headquarters in College Park, Georgia.
He went as far as to say customers' visits will always be "judgement free."
"We'll even start opening on Sundays if you want," said Cathy, though he admitted their trucks could only hold six days' worth of chicken.
It's unclear whether offended customers will return.
"I'll even stop the culty, creepily-nice drive-thru staff from staring at you that long," promised Cathy.