Eats Five

A Cacophony
of Chaos (part 4)

Is P.F. Jones? by Chrone Osphere
Temporal Correspondent

by Daniel Randolph
Post Cleveland Reporter
April 4, 2010

I traversed subspace, grateful to have escaped Ohio's treacherous sky.
"Where is this dumping us?" I asked the computer.
"Back in Ohio."
God dammit.
My head throbbed and I heard the immortal words of Bugs Bunny,
I should have made that left turn in Albuquerque.
The day's activities didn't seem to be getting me anywhere.
"Alright- Ohio, take two. This can't be any worse, right?"

Time Ship 1 exited the vortex flying straight down at the Great Lakes mall in Mentor, Ohio, which was less than 100 feet below and closing fast.
"FUCK!" the computer and I yelled together.

The Great Lakes Mall in Mentor shut down its "Easter Bunny" photobooth Sunday, as the guest of honor turned out to be a bunnylike creature from another dimension.
"He ate three children!" confirmed mall security from inside the locked food court restroom.
Photography assistant Celia Warner was the first to suspect the bunny was no costumed-actor.
"It was drooling through its fangs on the kids," said Warner. "And I'm pretty sure it winked at me."
The cleaning staff said the creature's presence explains alot.
"There was a portal, like some kind of doorway to another universe, by the Gloria Jean's coffee kiosk," said Rick Donner.
"It was gone after lunch, so I didn't worry about it."
The creature grabbed a couple more kids for the road and departed before authorities arrived.
This was not Great Lakes' first holiday mishap.
Their "Santa's Workshop" photobooth was shut down in December, after several children reported that Dwayne "Santa" Shelbey asked if they would get the candy cane out of his pants.
Mentor has outlawed seasonal photobooths for the foreseeable future.


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