Michele Bachmann's staff and constituents have grown concerned this past week over several unprompted endorsements of an over-the-counter laxative.
"The founding fathers would have loved Femin-Ease!" said the congressional representative and presidential candidate.
"They fought for life, liberty and the pursuit of female regularity!"
Bachmann apparently agreed to represent Femin-Ease after accepting a large contribution from PharmaJones, another subsidiary of our parent company, IJI.
Bachmann's campaign manager, Andy Parrish, said supporters aren't sure if product placement is the best way to start her campaign.
"You can tell the audience is uneasy when she starts shilling Femin-Ease," said Parish, "It just feels forced- worse than those Subway plugs in the middle of 'Pawn Stars.'"
Bachmann says she intends to continue endorsing "real American products that make America better."
Based on recent contributions, expect Representative Bachmann to endorse Summer's Eve and FlavaJones snack-halents next.
"Because sometimes you need to get behind a movement," she said, "and sometimes you need a movement to get behind you."