Scranton News Anchor Apologizes for Fiction

Watch Sneed's entire false segment

by Robert Lampini
Morning Star Gazette

ABS anchor Cynthia Sneed apologized Wednesday on the "Channel 6 at Six News" for several factual errors in her on-air report the day before.
With thousands of viewers' calling in to complain, Sneed has been suspended without pay for two weeks, and it has not been announced whether or not she will return to co-anchor the "6 at Six News."
"I deeply apologize for any offense or confusion created by our mistaken news stories," Sneed said.
The ABS affiliate seems to be distancing itself from Sneed's offensive headlines, and with good reason.
"A study from Stanford University revealed that African-American brains tend to become overwhelmed by car radios and colorful menu boards," Sneed said in her report, "which is why black people take so long in drive-thru’s."
Other stories in the 3-minutes-plus report created similar uproar.
"The Juvenile Diabetes Walk-a-thon has been cancelled, as the AMA announced yesterday that the disease couldn't set in 'til adulthood, and all the kids are just faking it."
"She seemed to get it right as she finished calling diabetic kids fakers," said production assistant Neil Zucker. "She turned beet-red and called for a commercial break."
While Sneed apologized for the incident, she insisted that all of it came from her teleprompter.
"I read every word of it off script," Sneed insisted. "I wouldn't have made news up."
Channel 6 news director Aaron Simpson does not accept that account.
"A thorough investigation of the studio computers and teleprompters revealed none of the errors Sneed said on the air," Simpson said. "We're holding her solely responsible."
Sneed had her own explanation for the incident.
"I'm telling you- it was The Army of Truth," Sneed said. "They’re punishing me for the 'Scranton's Heroes' hoopla."
Sneed was referring to the controversy that erupted last month over her off-camera treatment of interviewees in her "Scranton's Heroes" series.
"She was being so nice to me while I talked about my brother dying of leukemia," 11-year-old Julie Meyers told Scranton Herald reporter Hal Epstein. "Then I hugged her and she screamed at me for getting mascara on her blouse."
In the weeks that followed, dozens of other subjects of "Scranton's Heroes" came forward with similar accounts of Sneed's insensitivity, though the reporter faced no consequences other than bad publicity.
Until now.
"The Army has come to Scranton," Sneed insisted. "Don’t let them get you."

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ABS Retractions from the February 4th "6 at Six News"

Mayor Wilson was not arrested for exposing himself at a local Girl Scout troop meeting.

John McCain has not dropped out of the 2008 Presidential Primary Election.

The Sheffield Park Mall will not be hosting a nudist weekend next month.

The Pennsylvania Department of Transportation has not installed "Drunk Driving" lanes on any highways. Driving Under the Influence is still quite illegal.

Windex should not be used as nasal decongestant.

Stanford University has not conducted any studies related to race and duration of time when ordering at drive-through restaurants.

The property values of homes on Martin Luther King, Jr. Blvd. have not increased 300%.

The crime rate in Scranton Hills has not increased 500%.

Anthrax was not released at the water treatment plant.
Your tap water is perfectly safe.

Prostitution is still illegal in Scranton.

The American Medical Association has not declared Juvenile Diabetes to be a farce, nor has next week's Walk-a-thon been cancelled.