"I want to thank President Bush," said America's 44th President, Barack Obama, moments after his inaugural oath, to an empty seat.
"Where's President Bush?"
A hundred miles southwest, at the Roanoke Regional Airport, Bush had a handgun aimed at the nearest secret service agent.
"What are you doing, sir?" asked the agent who'd been vested more by surprise than skill.
"I'm taking her, Stevie," Bush said to Agent Rick Janick while using his free hand to zip up his flight suit.
"My baby, Sheila," Bush said gesturing backward to where Carl Rove, Scooter Libby, Alberto Gonzales, Condi Rice and Sean Hannity were climbing the drive-up stairs.
"You mean Air Force One?"
"You started the fire in the microwave, didn't you?"
"That's right, Stewie. We're going, now."
The Boeing 747 closed up and flew away, headed straight for international waters.
Shortly after, Bush held a press conference from his on-board office.
"People of the world," Bush said over the signal that was securely transmitted to the White House and nowhere else," it's clear my country no longer appreciates all I've done for it."
"There's been a lot of talk of 'warcrimes' and other such nonsense lately," he continued. "Well I'm not going to wait around to see if your new golden boy pardons me."
"I want to say you've all disappointed me deeply. I'd say you've broken Cheney's heart," he said in reference to his cohort in a geosyncronous orbit, "but the truth is he's more machine now than man."
"Y'all won't have the Decider to kick around anymore," Bush concluded. "Me and my crew are going to travel the world, helping out like-minded regimes. You know- kinda like the A-Team, but with lots of money."
President Obama shook his head in the Oval Office.
"He knows we have that thing lowjacked, right?" asked Obama. "Screw it. Let him go. Maybe it will be easier with him gone."
And thus President George W. Bush began his life in exile, and America began, once more, with its life anew.