PleasureMax Adult Superstore has thousands of adult sex toys, products and DVDs to meet your carnal needs.
They have hundreds of different vibrators offering every type of stimulation.
They've also got dozens of dildos, anal stimulators, pussy pumps, nipple teasers, cock rings, Ben-Wa balls and strap-on kits to put a smile on your face!
PleasureMax has hundreds of hand-held strokers and a wide range of prostate stimulators for men.
They even have different bondage-themed kits, foreplay games and sex swings for couples.
C'mon- your sex life could probably use some spicing up.
Could you please just buy something?
The truth is I won 50% stake of PleasureMax in a poker game.
It wasn't until later that I found out the place is in the red.
Business is slow, despite this city's desperate need for sexual enhancement.
But I'm an innovative guy, not to mention a media expert, so I should be able to get the word out.
Problem is, my editor is always bitching about "conflict of interest" blah blah blah.
It's like, the more I want to report on something, the less I'm allowed.
What kind of bullshit is that?
If I get ripped off at a local convenience store, I want to write about it.
If I hear a company I own stock in might be sold, I want to spread the word and bump up my dividends.
And if some skank named Melissa Jacobson screws every guy on my bowling team I should be able to call her out for it, right?
Anyway, please come buy some sex toys.
And don't forget about PleasureMax' thousands of award-winning adult DVDs.
They're still worth buying.