PS3 Bodycount Hits 1000
Is P.F. Jones? by Charles Kim
Post Los Angeles Reporter
November 19, 2006
 
 

Violence has gripped American shopping centers since Thursday’s release of the Sony PlayStation 3, coming to the thousandth death Saturday night in Orange County, California.
The violence erupted Thursday at midnight in what is now being called the Chicago PS3 Massacre, where the National Guard had to be called in and 381 people lost their lives.
“We had been camping on line for two days when all these SUVs surrounded the building on all sides,” recalled Sam Tremont, 19, “and before we knew what was going on, there gunfire and explosions. Bullets and glass were flying everywhere.”
Among the dead were Illinois National Guard officers, Chicago police officers, Walmart security guards, gamers waiting in line for the PS3s, and members of the two armed militant factions that descended on the Downtown Chicago Walmart for their 15 gaming systems.
“With those systems on eBay,” said FBI Special Agent Sarah Thompson, “some terrorists could have raised 500 thousand dollars to support terrorist activities.”
The militant gamer factions, or MGFs, were armed with rocket-propelled grenade launchers, AK-47 machine guns, semi-automatic handguns and tear gas grenades.
Sadly, Chicago was not alone.
Across the nation, riots were breaking out at shopping centers, and gangs and individual robbers were taking money and PS3s from patrons.
“I was thrilled to get my PS3,” said Harry Beaufait, 22, “but the moment I stepped out of ElectroJones, a mob of people trampled me and ripped the box right out of my hands. I should have saved my money and bought a Wii.”
By the end of Thursday over 600 Americans had been killed, and countless others wounded, over the Play Station 3.
The death toll continued to rise Friday in American homes with PS3s.
“Details are still coming in, but there have been a rash of armed robberies and murders in homes of PS3 owners. We now think many of the perpetrators had accessed store records to find customer addresses.”
Saturday night Skye Stevens, 17, of Beverly Hills, was murdered for his PS3 when he took a wrong turn into Compton.
“What's this world coming to?” asked his father, Arthur Stevens. "Isn't a teenager safe putting a PS3 in his Escalade?"
Stevens’ death is estimated to be the 1000th in the nation over the new Sony system.
Future shipments of Play Station 3’s will arrive in armed convoys, changing the suggested retail price from $599 to $999.
The raise in price is not expected to affect sales.

'Bullets and glass were flying everywhere'

 

 

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