I Love Winter in Ohio!

Learn How to Drive, Dick!

She Stood Me Up Again

by Whit Blanke
Post Cleveland Editor
December 4, 2010

by Cynthia Figgler
Post Cleveland Reporter
posted via iPhone 12-4-10
@ 7:32 pm

by Daniel Randolph
Post Cleveland Reporter
posted via iPhone 12-4-10 @
7:38 pm

I'll say it-
I love the snow!
I love the freshly-fallen snow covering the landscape of Ohio.
I love the way it looks in the backyard.
I love the way it crunches under my Lincoln Town Car's tires as I drive around looking at Christmas lights.
I love seeing how Clevelanders decorate their homes and businesses while listening to Christmas music.
Don't you just love the holiday music- in the stores, elevators, on the radio, even on hold on the phone.
I can't believe some people take all of this holiday beauty for granted.
Enjoy the magic, grinches!
I think I might skip proofing tomorrow's copy and go see how they decorated Public Square and the Rock Hall.


Why do people who've lived here all their lives forget how to drive every winter?
The first time it snows everyone get drivers-ed-amenisia.
They're making me late to meet- uh, a source.
Yeah, a source for a story. That's it.
It's bad enough that Winter in Ohio is a cess pool of seasonal depression.
Or that it turns into Christmas the day after Thanksgiving.
Do I have to listen to Christmas music EVERYWHERE I go?
To top that off, I'm stuck behind an old man in a Town Car going 18 miles an hour in a 35 just because there's a half-inch of snow on the ground.
What is this dick doing?
Is he looking at Christmas lights?
He's going to leave before I get there!
I already cancelled on him once.
I need this, dammit!
Oh, screw it.
Probably just some idiot in a Christmas tie, anyway.
I guess I'll go home to my husband.
I hate Ohio in December.


I knew it.
I knew there was no chance things could be going my way.
No way I could be getting into something meaningful.
I've been corresponding with a woman I met online.
I haven't even seen what she looks like yet, but I thought we had a real connection.
We agreed to meet tonight on what would essentially be a blind date.
She's already a half hour late.
I don't think she's coming.
And this is the second time she stood me up.
It figures.
Once I like someone, there's zero chance she'll recipricate.
I get too nervous.
Even tonight, I got here 15 minutes early, waited nearly an hour and I'm still worried about what she'll think of my Christmas sweater.
I've got no game lately.
Well, there's one lady I always flirt with, but she's married.
She seems to be giving me the green light, but I don't want the drama at work.
You know what- screw it.
It's about time I got mine, even if it's someone else's.
And screw this internet bitch.
I'm going to go block her account.

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