by Matt Fredmonsky
RETRACTION: There Is NO Pirate Treasure Buried Beneath Sunrise Apartments. Sorry.

FROM JULY 11, 2011:

cb by Steve Floyd
Post Kent Reporter
September 14, 2011
Ahoy, maties!
Blachbeard's recently unearthed treasure map shows there's treasure buried in Kent, Ohio.
Clues strongly indicate the pirate's booty is stashed beneath what is now Sunrise Apartments on Rhodes Road.
The treasure is believed to consist of gold and jewels stolen from several ships in the Caribbean Sea, Atlantic Ocean and Great Lakes, and would be worth over $3.25 billion today.
Blackbeard probably expected to retrieve the booty himself, not to die and leave it for drunk frat boys to try and dig up.
Technically it would belong to the apartment owners, but who's to say you didn't always have that chest of gold doubloons sitting next to your futon?
Attention, people of Kent:
There is no gold buried beneath Sunrise Apartments.
The entire story was just a joke.
I think I wrote it one night when I was drunk.
I didn't even remember writing it until someone told me an in-state developer bought the apartment complex.
I don't want any property damage to come from my shennanigans, and I certainly wouldn't want anyone's living arrangements to be disturbed.
I hope this clears everything up.
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