A man committed to Pequam State Mental Institution last month has been identified as a suspect in a St. Louis murder that took place over 30 years ago.
The six-foot-two-inch African-American male had no identification when he was arrested for public intoxication and lewd behavior.
The man identified himself only as "Jones," but the Scranton PD and Pequam administrators have treated this as an alias.
"He has no record," said Detective Ned Clause.
"Nothing he said checked out. He was from St. Louis, Chicago and New York. He was a reporter, then a corportate tycoon- then president."
"I hate it when we arrest the president."
One part of the man's story did check out- he had been in St. Louis.
"Our John Doe's fingerprints came up on a murder weapon from a 1978 cold case," said FBI Special Agent Dick Garrison. "And not just any cold case."
The case of the "St. Louis Slugger" has long been considered one of the Bureau's greatest forensic mysteries.
"This is one of those cases that CSI geeks try to out-solve each other on," said Garrison. "It's only fun because there is no right answer."
According to the FBI's records, one man was struck with a broken baseball bat and killed by another man outside a St. Louis fairground on June 23, 1978.
"Neither victim nor killer had any kind of traceable record," said Garrison, "but that was only where the mystery started."
The killer, whose motive is still unknown, left many footprints, but none of them walked away from the crime scene- they just disappeared.
"When he disappeared, he picked up an object the size of a large speedboat and took it with him. Mind you- this all took place a couple hundred feet from a carnival in broad daylight," said Garrison.
The "Mystery of the St. Louis Slugger," as it came to be known, only became more complex in the age of DNA.
"There was still no match," said Garrison, "but Victim X was found to have dozens of different ethnicities- the likes of which has never been seen in humanity."
Geneologists have never been able to agree on Victim X's heritage.
"Some think he's a missing link, others say he'd have to come from centuries in the future. He was a freak, at any rate," assessed Garrison.
The FBI has not been able to get a coherent statement from "Jones" at Pequam, and is expected to extradite him within the week.
The staff, it seems, will not mind seeing him go.
"He keeps yelling that he's a god and we're all nothing," said orderly Sam Wickman. "It was funny at first. Now he's really creeping me out."