I Was Sexually Assaulted at
the Hudson Haunted House-
All Three Visits!



  by Wes Paxton
Post Kent Reader
October 25, 2014


What's this world coming to?
You can't even go out to a haunted house without getting molested.
And they don't even finish you off!
The first visit started okay.
I wish I could say it was scary.
I wasn't that startled at the ghosts or zombies jumping out at me.
But when that cackling banshee grabbed my ass- look out!
I tried to return the favor, but by then we were already getting pushed outside.
That just wasn't acceptable.
So I hopped back in line.
The second time through was even more boring- save my anticipation at the thought of getting fondled!
Sure enough, I rounded a corner when a couple of the creepers grabbed me.
"You like being naughty?" a female voice whispered in my right ear.
The hand roughly massaging my sack from the left, however, was definitely male.
I tried to retort with some quip, but was speechless after lefty sqeezed my gonads hard and pushed me out the exit.
By now my friends were all yelling at me to leave for the bars, but I knew I'd be back.
A few hours later I was back in that line- this time drunk and alone.
I will say it was a little scarier after five Jones & Jones.
I wasn't even halfway through this time when a black sack went over my head and I passed out.
I think they chloroformed me.
When I came to, I was strapped to a OBGYN exam chair taking it from every direction.
Ghosts, goblins and ghouls were penetrating my every hole.
I think some of those "brains" and "eyeballs" even came into play.
It was a pan-sexual extravaganza, spanning not only genders but also the living, dead and undead.
It was way better than that furry party.
I loved being used and abused in every which way- but they never attended to my needs!
(Unless you count the toe-sucking, which I don't.)
They must have chloroformed me again, because I woke up sticky and sore in a corn field.
My friends say I should press charges, but that's not my style.
I'm gonna try to score some molly and head back this weekend.
This could be the best Halloween ever.




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