EuroGyro Pizza
Is the Best
Taste in Kent

by Steve Floyd

Post Kent Reporter

Kent residents agree- EuroGyro Pizza of 107 South Depeyster is the best food around, and at the best prices. “A lot of people don’t know we deliver beer and cigarettes,” said restaurant owner George Istocki "or that we're open 'til three or later."
The shop is also a well-known venue for regional and national bands, and features weekly acts like the international sensations Jessica Lea Mayfield, Woody James and XE LA.
The Gyro also features food unique to Kent or the Mediterranean.
"Our most popular sandwiches are the Guy on the Couch and Chicken Hoagie Deluxe," said manager Brian Stone, "neither of which can be gotten anywhere else."
"With the new stage, drink specials, and LCD TVs there's no reason to go anywhere else," concluded Stone.


Domino’s Denies Rat Infestation
by Steve Floyd
Post Kent Reporter

Domino’s Pizza of 1647 Union Avenue in Erie, Pennsylvania, does not have any type of rat infestation, the restaurant’s managers insisted Thursday.
“I’ve never heard anything so ridiculous,” said general manager Herald Bogart. “We’re the cleanest establishment in Erie.”
None of the Domino’s 12 other employees had heard of any such rat infestation either.
“I think if I ever saw a rat I’d scream and never come back,” said delivery driver Wendy Price, 19. Further more, 92 out of 100 Erie residents hadn’t heard of any infestations at Domino’s either.“No, I hadn’t heard that,” said Betsy Miller, 65, “but I’m never ordering from them again!”
“I don’t understand how this rumor got started,” said Bogart. “And I don’t understand why a reporter from Ohio is calling about it.”
Domino’s Pizza Corporate Headquarters refused to comment.

Pizza Hut Must Be
Damn Near Bankrupcy
Is P.F. Jones?

by Steve Floyd
Post Kent Reporter

When you think about it, Pizza Hut may as well not even exist.
It was great when you were a little kid, but when's the last time you and your friends said,
"Let's go to Pizza Hut?"
Why not?
Don't you want a pizza the temperature of the sun brought to your table, to melt off the roof of your mouth?
Don't you want a pizza so dense and greasy that you're full and acne-ridden after two slices?
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