Is P.F. Jones?

Here's A List of 42 Things We Would Also Never Do
(before The Scranton Herald falsely acusses us of them)

 

by Thoroughgood Killjoy
editor-in-chief
 
 
 

double dip

vandalism

loitering

libel

insider-trading

tax evasion

sedition

solicitation

kidnapping

necrophilia

beastiality

cut in line

steal cable

plagerism

identity theft

embezzlement

extortion

car jacking

prostitution

stalking

cannibalism

rape

illegally download

littering

indecent exposure

money laundering

Ponzi scheming

high-seas piracy

racketeering

spill toxic waste

cruelty to animals

torture

child pornography

like our own fb posts

not wipe down gym equipment

hit on our friend's girl

lie to get out of jury duty

refuse to pay child support

make sex tape without consent

hunt endangered species

human trafficking

conspire to commit murder

any variation
or combination
of the above

    Thank you for your time.
~ ~ ~
 
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