Food Court Employees Already Sick of Christmas Music
  shellby Cynthia Figgler
Post Cleveland
November 2
8, 2012


Food court employees of the Great Lakes Mall are reportedly already sick of the Christmas music they've had to listen to since Black Friday.
"It's repetative crap," said Alexa Morris, 19, "and some asshole called Bing Cosby sang most of them."
Many of Morris' coworkers agree.
"If I hear 'Marshmallow World' one more time I'm going to beat someone with their tray," said Marc Shayan, 27. "I wish Dean Martin was alive so I could kill him."
The workers have become increasingly belligerent toward dining customers.
"All I did was say 'happy holidays' to an employee changing the trash, and he spit on my Sbarro's," said Betty Chessler, 34, while 'Sleigh Bells' played in the background.
The number of incidents are increasing daily.
"The Taco Bell girl yelled at my grandkids for singing along to 'Rudolph'," said Melany Horvatz, 68.
"She made them cry!"
Great Lakes' human resources say they're considering they're options.
"I've thought about rotating mall employees around more, but the Christmas music is all over," said Robert Kurtz, HR director, "and most employees are in the food court or Santa's photobooth."
Shayan and others say they're unsure if they can make it to Christmas.
"Do you know how many versions of 'Santa Claus Is Coming to Town' there are?" asked Morris while dragging a spork along her inner wrist. "Eleven! Eleven fucking versions!"



Bookmark and Share

front page about us