Listen- I'm looking at this portrait of your family and I've got to tell you, your daughter looks like she'd be a great lay.
Now, I know you don't think of things like that -or at least you try not to- but I think it's a moral imperative that someone say it out loud, and there's only two of us in this job interview.
Don't get me wrong- your son's a good-looking boy, but he's not my type. I'm no perv.
I like that your daughter posed for the family portrait in her cheerleader uniform.
It shows her bubbly personality.
And her tone thighs.
She gets those from her mom, from the looks of it.
I'll bet she was a tight package herself, 15 to 20 years ago.
I don't know if it's your daughter's pouty lips or the twinkle in her eye, but she looks like she could get into trouble.
Don't worry- I'm not one of those creeps who's turned on by the braces.
I'm turned on despite them.
And she probably looks different now that she's in college.
No? Not yet?
I know I came here looking for a job, but I would be remiss if I left without getting your daughter's cell phone number.
I've got some pics of myself I'd like to send her.