Cop Out
Has to be the
Funniest
Movie Ever!
It's Not
That
Funny,
Stoner
This Date
Is the
Real
Cop Out
tim by Aston Brie
Contributor
February 27, 2010
lampini by Carson Brady
Contributor
February 27, 2010
by Becky Maximilian
Contributor
February 27, 2010
Is P.F. Jones?
Oh God- I can't stop laughing!
It's like I'm watching Die Hard but it's got the dialogue of Mall Rats.
They're talking about chimpanzees blowing each other now! Genius!
Everytime Tracy Morgan does that thing with his face, I think I'm going to piss myself.
Look- he did it again!
Oh God- he just punched that kid in the nuts! Classic.
This is sooooooo funny!
I'm having a hard time putting popcorn in my mouth.
This is knee-slapping fun.
Literally.
Look- that's the guy from Half Baked!
Awesome!
And that's that girl who's in that one show.
She's pretty.
The girl in front of me's pretty cute, too.
Too bad she's with a douchebag that smells like hot sauce.
Scooner was right- this movie makes way more sense the third time.
It's got layers.
The pothead behind us is really starting to piss me off.
It's not that funny, idiot!
I'm on my second date with that Becky girl, and he's totally killing the vibe.
We were supposed to go see The Crazies or Shutter Island, but they were both sold out.
I was counting on a horror flick to get her going- scary movies always put 'em in the mood.
Now I'm sitting in this Kevin Smith excuse for a cop comedy in front of a petuly-smelling hippie screaming with laughter and spitting popcorn on us.
Becky looks annoyed.
She seemed into me after the restaurant.
Now she keeps making a face every time a character swears or when the stoner kicks her seat.
I probably shouldn't even try the popcorn box trick now.
Fuck you, stoner.
You too, Kevin Smith.
There's no way I'm getting laid tonight.

This is the worst date I've ever been on!
I don't know why I gave this idiot another shot.
Alright- I did it because I wanted another free meal, but this is so not worth it.
He said we were going out to a restaurant, then took me to Gyro for wings.
Then we went to the movies.
I made it clear that I wanted to see Valentine's Day, but he dragged me to Cop Out.
What an appropriate title.
To make matters worse, there's a pothead behind us spitting popcorn.
He kicks my seat every time he slaps his knee.
Who actually does that?
I wish I was in his state of mind- then this might actually be funny.
He is kind of cute, though.
I wonder what he's doing after the movie.
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